#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

So H phoned me to talk about the email...very unusual. He was quite defensive and said he was working all day, just not at the firehall (which he led us to believe he was at). I believe that he did work most of the day, though I happen to know that he went on a hike. I found out that he is on holiday and has 4 days off from the firehall, and was presumably not intending to tell me or the children. Anyway, he argued that he hadn't actually lied and that he was working. Splitting hairs I guess. I basically said that I thought he could be totally honest and also have the privacy and space that he wants. That he didn't have to volunteer false info for convenience, and that it doesn't teach our children the right thing.

The real zinger was when he said: "so if I told the children I was going home when I was actually going out on a date, which I haven't done yet, would you expect me to be truthful about that?". Inside, I screamed. I just said: "you could say "Goodbye, I'm leaving now, see you tomorrow"... there is not reason to volunteer false information".

My question now is: is it a trial separation when the H is planning to date? I just don't know how to feel about this. I feel like an idiot, listening to my husband casually talking about dating. What am I supposed to say to things like that??

I am sick of my sitch. I just want to run away and walk through a desert by myself until I feel cleansed of the ick of being rejected.