TL,
Originally Posted By: TooLateForMe
Mostly I'm looking for the right way to frame this to her.
Then I would suggest reading every post in Coach's excellent Boundaries Thread, elsewhere here in Newcomers, until you've got it down pat.

Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac