she would also cuddle with her gay man friend and talk about having fun together like shopping and fun trips because their is no sexual tension to worry about.
No more cuddling. No foot rubs. No back rubs.
No physical contact.
If she wants to touch you, let her. In fact, be a little rude and try this, yes it's counter-intuitive but do this, you're in bed, sleeping together and she reaches over to put her arms around you to hold you while sleeping (and remember you're not getting any), take her hand and put it on your crotch and put your hands behind your head in a strong, confident, masculine way. If she gets upset or questions you, you tell her plain & simple:
"Look we're adults, we sleep in the same bed and you don't mind cuddling but I'm a guy, guys like sex, we're married, I really see no reason why we can't, so why don't you take care of me for a bit and let me enjoy some of your attention."
Trust me, you've never done this before.
The OM, he's done this and she's taken his direction, I'm sure of it.
He's doesn't have to beg her to do this, he gets sex when he wants, it's a given.
Be the kind of man that says "hey we can have sex but I'm not going to force you but this cuddling routine, it's getting old, we can cuddle after sex if you want but if you don't have to have sex, I really don't want to cuddle, it's not very satisfying."
You're brutally honest here, counter-intuitive and it will shock the crap out of her, she doesn't expect this out of you because frankly you are wussy, weak and not a very confident kind of guy, pretty much the polar opposite of the OM and she's attracted to him sexually and you not so much.
One of two things will happen:
1. She'll "take care of you" and you will have given her preset mental image of you a major jolt. 2. She'll storm out of the bedroom, she won't "take care of you" but you will have given her preset mental image of you a major jolt.
Either way you shake things up, you've shown her that you aren't some guy that settles for crap behavior and treatment in all of it's various forms and you gain the benefit of changing the image and idea she has in her head about you.
The question is, do you have the guts to do it.
I'm thinking you don't but you could always surprise us.
