I think the only reasonable thing we can do during the limbo time is work on ourselves. We will definitely benefit (as will our kids, other relationships, etc.) from that no matter which way our M goes in the long run.
Movement here? It is so hard to say. Looking back the past couple of months, not much has changed. Compared to a year ago, things are quite different. It is so hard to explain. My H seems so much like himself when he is around now, only not "all" of him. I don't know if that makes any sense.
A year ago, he was distancing himself in a huge way and was just mean and picking fights and finding fault with everything I did or said. He was NEVER like that before - always concerned about me, the kids, etc. I am at almost a year post-bomb now. He all but completely ignored the kids for a few months. Now he is way more in tune with them, usually more involved with them when he is at home, and even acting more like a dad with discipline and helping with homework again. Yet he still doesn't let me in on much of his life at all (though a bit more than he had been). So I guess he has softened but I am sure in his head he still thinks he would be happier not being a husband/father. He seems just miserably depressed a lot.
I get frustrated at times because I don't think he will be one to be stuck forever but it is all in God's timing and hands and I have to keep reminding myself that!
A couple of months is just a drop in the bucket with MLC - for the most part I think most of us won't notice any big changes or movement in that short of a period of time with our MLCers.
Yes, it is best to try to not figure out what is going on with your W, whether she is going out, what she is doing. The monsters can really come out to play in your head then. Just try not to focus on her at all. She is going to do what she is going to do right now regardless of whether you know about it (and therefore probably worry about it) or not.
So your W is more like herself in person than on the phone? Interestingly, my H tends to call me when he pours out his heart rather than tell me in person, though he lives here. I guess he feels safer that way. Who knows.
