Ruined, it sounds like things are really tough for you. I wish you were getting more input on your thread...I feel so new at this and don't feel like I have much to offer. One things is: don't make it easy for your H to spy on you. Remove anything private from the premises or lock it up and don't use a shared computer unless you know how to protect your privacy. Also, it seems that most advice on this forum is to "go dark" when when there is an A and make it clear that there is no possibility of working on the R as long as contact with OW continues. It sounds like you are still pursuing a lot: hugging him, initiating contact, etc. It will be easier when you move out, I guess. I wish you strength.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
