#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

Thanks Ruined, I can see how those sentences may seem superfluous. I hope you don't mind if I explain the rationale? The first sentence was in there to acknowledge that he may not have set out to be dishonest initially. And the last sentence was there to remind him of what we're trying to do here, which is to be the best coparents that we can be. My sister felt that both of those sentences would soften what I was writing.

In both of my DBing coaching sessions, Dotty has advised very soft communication with H, avoiding "harsh startup" and acting friendly. Dotty believes that he has an unusually reactive temperament and that it's counterproductive to come on strong with him. She has advised making my wishes known in pretty roundabout ways.

I'm a bit confused because her advice about communication in my sitch appears to be in direct contradiction to advice that I'm getting in my thread and seeing in other people's threads. What am I missing here? I guess Dotty has had the benefit of being able to hear my spoken communication style, which is quite direct and perhaps lacking in tact/sensitivity. Perhaps she believes that being softer, more diplomatic is a 180 for me?

I know it may seem like I'm making a huge deal about writing this email. But this is an opportunity for me to really be intentional about how I communicate with H.