New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

I would suggest that you just remain open to the real possibility that your W still has to find her own way through a lot of change. You have changed in many ways over these last 19 months - it may be very difficult for her to know what to do with that new person she sees in you...and loving her might very well mean allowing her as much time as she needs to sort things out for herself - no matter what the outcome. And, oddly enough, we do a great kindness toward ourselves when we learn to love with detachment.

I hope that makes some sense...
-Carlos.

I thought a lot about what Carlos wrote. I pray this is why my W still hasn't refiled for D. She mentioned she would refile for D after the Christmas holidays. It's now FEB, and still no refiling.

In the meantime, I continue hanging on to my progress and keeping my calling schedule with my boys. They are now responding in turn and txt msg me often along with emails. I have to say I also briefly talk with my W about once a week. No venom on her part. Brief responses. She oddly enough takes an interest on how my parents are doing and always inquires about their well-being. Our phone contacts are friendly albeit brief.

I thought of sending my boys small gifts for Valentines'Day. I thought of sending my W a book. Good idea? Bad idea? any advice anyone? I figured after 19 months of separation, whether she accepts it or not is irrelevant. At least I'm showing her that I am doing well, and also value her as the mother of our children. And yes, I DO love her very much, even to this day.

Anyway, thanks for chiming in, anyone.

JR09