I'm not sure what strategy to suggest in this specific sitch b/c one size does not fit all, other than detaching. But she does seem paralyzed by shame and doesn't know how to get herself out of the mess SHE created.
How did stuff get handled in her past when she made mistakes? Was there forgiveness shown in her family life?
Sometimes I think if a WAS (or LBSer for that matter) has not actually witnessed forgiveness growing up, it's harder for them to believe they can get it and if they honestly cannot visualize moving past this, even if they want to, it pretty much stops any progress.
You have a tough task to not pursue, to detach and yet somehow allow for her to figure out that a future IS possible but only under certain conditions....and all this is said knowing it's not your job to teach her this stuff....My simplest advice is to repeat what I said earlier: Be a man only a fool would leave" and hope she's wise enough to figure out how to get you back.
Good luck, we're rooting for you. J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
