My Story

[Awoken]

Wired.

It sounds like you are still doing things the way you were before. How has that worked out?

You need to radically change things, change what you are doing.

I'm not a successful DB'er, but I've read more threads here than I can count. You need to stop talking with your wife about your relationship or about divorce. If she wants to talk, you tell her you need to leave to (insert a GAL activity, even if you have to make it up!). You need to ask as-if everything is ok.

DON'T view this as manipulating her, because that will surely fail. You have to do this because you are moving on and taking care of Wired. You need to accept what is happening to you. You don't have a choice, do you?

When you discuss this stuff with you W, all you get is useless information that gets in the way of what you should be doing. Listen, you'll never know the real reasons she is a WAW. Anything she says now is used to JUSTIFY what she is doing. Time and time again in the threads I've read, WAS's rewrite the past.

I'm imagining your conversation with W about the finances. Of course you told her what you wanted to do. Far back in your mind you want her to say, "oh no, don't do that. I'm not sure I want a divorce, let's work it out". You are still trying to control her, trying to GET her back into your M. Understand, she is already gone.

I still think my advice a couple of posts applies to you. Talk to your own lawyer, then separate your finances. Let her be mad.
Don't be vengeful, just starting taking care of yourself. Start building better relationships with your children. Start doing whatever you need to do for your new BETTER life.

I know this hurts like nothing else. You are in the worse of it now. The sooner you start taking care of wired the better everything will be.