So, P, now that I've read your sitch, which lie exactly was it that equaled your breaking moment? Just curious because your WAW seems to have done as much as any.
The final straw for me was announcing on her Facebook page that she was 'in the process of a divorce' which was just the final lie in all of this. Only I can divorce her at the moment, so she is actually in the process of nothing but an adulterous A.
When I lost it with that lie (and ranted and moaned) I just thought ENOUGH. Head kicked in and said 'no more of this. Heart, get a grip. We are in control now. You've tried, you did your best but it hasn't worked. Time for Plan B which is move onwards and upwards. We can't take any more of this. We need to protect ourself.'
That was it. I don't know if everybody has that but from what I've read a lot of people just have that final straw that just tips the balance.
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Thanks for the input; I am staying detached to the very best of my abilities. As you say, I don't want to care what's going on with my idiot H or his A. And at least some days, I don't. it's a start anyway.
You WILL get there. It's really really tough. On my first thread there is a link to a page about detachment - I have lost the link now but it should be there. It's really helpful. It's a mind switch more than anything else.
I'm not going to pretend to you that I can proudly say I'm all the way there as I've yet to be finally tested but I would say I'm 99% there. Only when I pass that final test will I know for sure.
For each test that you are given, whether you pass or fail, you will get stronger and better at it. Until, finally, that last straw tips the balance.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
it's a start anyway.