Had a few moments to sit down and start reading the 5 love languages and of course skipped ahead to the tests and was going to take H's test and I couldn't...I honestly don't know what answers he would pick! Think that might be part of our R problem? Will read it as intended here soon!!! H did not come and pick up his stuff so assume he did not talk to our renters at all...
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He started to come round about early November 2009 and I set myself till Xmas for some sort of R building, thankfully it never came to it, but I certainly was not going into the new year being dangled on a cake eating mission! Of course I love him but I have learnt to love myself more and how ever hard it would have been I know I deserved more than just being a quickie for want of a better word.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
That's ok LR...I am doing ok! A little disappointed and happy at the same time! H called this morning and is going to pick up the kids afterschool and take them to his house for overnight! This is the first time and they are so excited. D11 asked if I was going and I told her no, just them but that was ok they could spend time with Dad. He will bring them back tomorrow. What I am disappointed in was that DB coach had suggested making his favorite thing and then non-chalantly extend an invite for him to stay and eat with us but not sure how that will happen now. He is going to split wood maybe Sunday so could do that then and invite and if he can't stay then give it to him to go. D11 wants to make him a cheesecake so will give that to him too! I really wanted to be there to see him open his birthday gift (the pocket watch we had cleaned up and repaired)but not sure if he will do that today or later!
I wish I had some advice for you in your sitch LR...it sounds like you are making it thru it though so keep on doing that!
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Ok (((()))) first cos you really sound like you need a few! Its a pain he is picking up from school but ce sera! What have you got planned as distraction from not having the kids.. Shopping, beauticians, visitng friends, reading the book you havent got round to for ages?
Can you keep the present back at home and when he brings the kids back home, ask him to stay and have cake/desert with you and the kids whilst they give him their present. Only you can guage whether you think you can get a good response or a rejection just yet!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Hi LR! If I had been thinking clearly this morning, I would have done just that (keeping the gift and opening it a different day) but he catches me off guard! I really didn't expect him to call and get the kids today! I am focusing on how excited the kids were and as far as for me...plan to do some laundry (fun fun) and will watch my shows tonight without any interruption, read the 5LL's and maybe enjoy a big bowl of ice cream! We just got 4 more inches of snow and don't want to go out in it! I just heard maybe more snow Sunday so is possible that H wouldn't come on Sunday so will make his fav (goulash) tomorrow and can offer then or reheat on Sunday...he may or may not accept! I think I am ready for either response! Will act as if it is not big deal either way!
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Plan foiled again!!! H brought kids home around 9:30am (early I know) and said he'd split some wood so we helped him with that and actually all had fun as it was slick and the very first piece of wood I picked up and I slipped and fell then D11 fell several times...H got the truck stuck so we dug that out but had fun! But...as usual, he was in an all-fired hurry to leave. He said he had to go to SS28's as the grandson's had made him cards. This is the first time he has been there since 12/30/09. So, that is good!
I asked him what he was doing tomorrow on his birthday and he said he didn't know...D11 asked if he was coming over..he didn't answer right away and then I mentioned that we were supposed to get more snow tomorrow night (damn...rescued him didn't I?). I chickened out on asking him today. DB coach suggested trying to get together for a family event and I think a birthday counts for that?
So, trying to decide...
1)I call him in the a.m. and invite him to come here for dinner and cheesecake?
2)Let one of the kids call and invite him?
3)Maybe offer to meet him halfway for lunch and bring him packaged goulash and cheesecake?
I did not get him a gift or a card from me. It seems like I have read that on here many times! I don't want to pursue but want him to know he is included in the family...any suggestions or advice would be most appreciated!!!
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Its only a theory but suppose H can only stay for as long as his conscience allows him, so he stays until he starts feeling guilty or the reality of his situation hits home and he then runs for cover..
As for his birthday, give him a call and say you are having a birthday dinner in his honour and if he'd like to join you and the kids he would be welcome, but make sure you have that tone in your voice that says and if you dont we will make a nice time of it without you! Anyway it wont hurt if he has a thoroughly miserable birthday maybe it will give him some food for thought.
Chin up youre doing good even though Im sure it doesnt feel so!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Thanks LR! It is snowing some but not enough to use as an excuse as he is the one that used to go out and "play" in this weather! I know I am not supposed to think about what he is doing with the OW but I know it is her weekend off so of course I am thinking that he is with her!
The kids told me that he has a new lantern that "someone" from work gave him. Now, it could be from her or he could be lying since we are supposed to be on a tight budget but that has also been bothering me! I have never thought of myself as a controlling type of person but I just want this to be done and over with and have it be MY way...and now! I am laughing as I re-read this as I sound like a little child don't I? lol
I will follow your advice LR and let ya know what happens!
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OK! Just got off the phone with H. Wished him a happy birthday (he just kinda "yeah, thanks") and the invited him for birthday dinner. He said "I guess I could do that, what time do you want me to come?" So...didn't sound real thrilled but didn't say no. I really expected him to say no! So, getting the food going and house picked up! More later!
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