Question

[awest1217]

Thanks, but I really feel nothing. I am thinking I have always had an idealized H in my head. Remember H has been doing the OW thing the whole time we have been dating, engaged, and married. I always thought once we got married he would stop because everytime I would find out, he would stop the thing with that woman, but not too long later...there would be a new one. I think I have just always thought he would change and kept pressing on believing he would change, but he never has. He says he needs help to change, and when I try to help him or give suggestions, he just says that won't work or I tried that because his psychology background makes him the all knowing person. I think he doesn't want to change and he doesn't want to lose me, but what he doesn't understand is unless there is some majorly huge changes soon, he has lost me. I have hung in for around 9 years dealing with this, and this one he won't let go of, so why keep pushing?

Sorry I know this sounds horrible and not at all what this site is about, but I have found a new strength, resolve, and self-esteem (especially in the physical side of looking good because man I looked good all weekend ), and H has a great way of destroying that all in me, probably because he doesn't think he deserves me.

I know V-day is this upcoming weekend and we have a three day weekend. Nothing has been said and I am trying to decide on getting him anything. Suggestions? I actually have a four day weekend so I am excited and need the rest. H hasn't said anything about it except "it is valentine's day" when his mom brought up having lobster at his grandma's house that weekend. I said I didn't have plans, and don't so we will see. Plus on the 12th it will be our 11 year anniversary of dating and the 13th is the 11 year anniversary of our first kiss. It would be nice to have him really go out of his way to give me a super romantic card that he writes in to tell me that he really does love me (anniversary if you remember was all about how I am not what he wants and what needs to change at home). I have always been a romantic and love sending him stuff at work or writing sweet cards. Him...not so much... so it would be nice to see him do something out of the ordinary because it is something I like. However my expectation is NOTHING.