My Story...possible "grass is greener" scenario?

[flowmom]

You are getting great advice here. Good for you for re-reading your thread. If you keep doing that you will see that some of your challenges are coming through loud and clear.

So what that says to me is...if I can tackle the codependency first, then maybe I can start working on me for me without regards to my ex.

Yes. I hope that you can make this a priority in IC. Make sure that you are not wasting time in IC just talking about the past, your feelings, etc. It's good to let it out in a safe place, but you have work to do right now and you should ask your IC to help you stay on task with pursuing goals.

As far as visitation with your D3 goes, and how that affects contact with your W, I don't want to argue with previous posters but I can understand why you have it set up that way. As a mother of a D3 & S6, I feel that our our current situation of the children seeing H on daily or twice daily basis really helps them a lot.

I agree that frequent contact isn't best for DBing though. It requires me to really have my sh!t together ... I am very controlled when H is around. And I never email or phone him to chit-chat. Only brief email messages about parenting, not because I miss him but because it avoids having to talk about it face to face.

Hang in there.