He knows how much that F*ckberry pisses you off and he's doing it on purpose. Ignore him. Just like you don't exist in his world at this moment... he shouldn't exist in yours.
I wouldn't have left the room I would have sat down and started watching the movie with/out him and enjoyed it. Then I'd put on some cool music full blast and sat an chilled. You live in your own little happy world... remember?
And for tomorrow... you do like I told you yesterday... then come back here and tell us what a blast you had IRRESPECTIVE of what he did/n't do.
I know you can do this. Luv, maybe GAL isn't for you... so go one better... MAL. MAKE-A-LIFE and enjoy it to the max.
Major update guys - I found proof of other woman. I can't go into detail right now but lets just say my H is backpedalling. I don't know if that is because he is caught or he really wants this marriage.
I read several texts back and forth to the woman I expected he works with. He is professing his love for her and all that BS. I felt blank reading. I don't know if it's shock or it hasn't sunken in yet.
He threatened to leave last night but then turned it around on me and said, "if you don't work on this marriage all hell is gonna break loose." We talked last night and this morning because he had no other choice. He couldn't give me the "I don't wanna talk to you" bit.
I don't know what to do! I told him he has to end this immediately (swears its a close friendship) but bullsh*t!! not gonna even go there..it is what it is. I told him she is a dealbreaker! He is visibly like "oh sh*t."
Talk to me you guys! Rob! where are you??
I got a little power back - not the kind I expected but I have some! I threatened to go to the H. He is scared.
Last edited by luvless; 02/07/1008:17 PM.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
I'm assuming that you have confronted H with what you have... sit tight for now until you are in a less emotional state. With all the sitches you've read up on here... I would have thought you would have learned at least that much.
So... hold your horses and calm down. As for going to the H... YES! But you do it methodically and calmly. Threatening was not clever because now your H and OW will blow smoke up the OWH a$$.
Take it easy. Let him sit and squirm and worry about what you're going to do. Right now your standard response is this:
1) No R talk 2) If he approaches you... walk away! 3) If that slut appears in your home today... send her away. You do NOT allow her into your home... IS THAT CLEAR? Let her explain to her H why! 4) If he pressures you for what you're going to do... "I haven't decided. I will think about it."
(((( Luv )))) I'm sorry. You were right. Now you have disclosure and you're not crazy. Take solace in that fact.
I'm sorry, Luv, that explains a lot about why your H has been acting the way he has. G gave you very sound guidance, please follow it. I can't add anything to it, other than to send you a hug and prayers. Take care of yourself- Bunny
stop taking it luv. you keep letting everything he does affect you. you have to stop expecting any husband like behavior from him because right now he is not your H.
So, instead of doing this...
Quote:
I'm in the back room with all my kids because he's been on his blackberry for 3 hours no joke. He wanted to watch a movie and I said, "if you want me to watch a movie with you put that thing away" he said, "Im not done" like a kid so I said, "ok I'm outta here."
now, you mention he is acting like a kid, but I'm seeing both of you acting the same. So, if he asks to watch a movie, either say "that'd be great, let me know when your done with the phone and I'll come in there" or "sure!" then when he's on his phone, get up and say, "hey, it looks like your busy right now, so I'll pause the movie and just let me know when your ready again to watch" But in a upbeat tone, not an irritated tone.
OR
just say, nah, I've got some stuff I've been wanting to do, thanks for the offer though!
IN AN UPBEAT VOICE. your still carrying around bitterness, and you'll get no where with that.
you want to sound and look like your moving on with your life and that your going to LIVE it. not... I'm going to die because your not giving me the love and attention I want, so I'm going to be miserable and irritated.
if you want to be more like Rob, then start caring about what YOUR doing and quit caring about what HE is doing.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
again, your H is doing exactly the same as mine. although he's not as far gone yet, but if you don't start doing something...then he will be.
like everyone said, quit with the R talks. and READ THE DIVORCE REMEDY, I swear, I feel like you haven't read this. so read it again.
Do you want to have your marriage back? the one when you were happy 50%? and have that 50% be even bigger??? Then quit doing what your brain is telling you to do, and stop just LISTENING to us and start DOING IT.
I'm throwing you 2x4s because you have had WAY more power in your hands in this sitch and it's killing me to see you let it just slip away from you.
I really felt he had a OW because of the signs, but it wasn't escalating until recently. But that still doesn't matter. and it makes even more sense. I have been in his shoes, and he's dying inside. I know you may not think it, and he's being a jerk right? well, that's because he's struggling. He's getting his needs met by this OW because he wasn't getting it at home. It's not okay, but it's just how it is. That's how A's start. So, the whole point is, part of him wants to have his M, but he FEELS that he will just have to continue to be miserable if he does and he believes nothing will ever change. but this OW is giving him everything he's wanting so it's like a high, an addiction, and so that's why he is living on his feelings. He's going to act erratic and crazy and definitely show anger, especially if you react to him.
SOOOOO, that is why you have to focus on you and stop reacting to him.
so are you ready to step it up???
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
hey guys, I'm not being rude, that's just me and my smart ass ways, ST, I'm a guy, I'm looking at it from his point of view, but you don't enable someone's crap behavior, man or woman. I was a LBH and now I'm a WAH and that's where I need to be right now, it's the only place to be, I finally stopped submitting to my feelings on what I felt should work and I finally embraced reality and accepted what does work and it works for both men & women.
Her husband takes her for granted, that's a given. He shows that he doesn't care for her, and he blatantly ignores her. He enjoys way too much power in this relationship currently, and people who have too much power in a relationship abuse that power, he is no different and I don't feel that he's suffering. If anything, I had thoughts every now & then that he had a piece of somethin' on the side - I could be wrong but that was a thought that crept inside my head after reading some of the exchanges Luv has had with her husband.
Well it's not like I didn't mention that I thought that's what was happening, he was spending way too much time on that f!@#$*'in blackberry, and everyone is in love with texting lately, especially people who start getting interested in each other.
