Need Help Fast Please..............

[Buffet]

Another day at crazy coral! Last weekend W had another meltdown about parenting time, sharing S2, etc...

She demanded that we start the parenting/custody agreement that day that we have agreed upon. I said that was great since I had suggested that earlier in the week! Anyways, today was my day with S2 and we had a nice day planned---went to meet a friend of mine and his boy who is the same age to play at a train place for kiddos and than hit the local Chucky Cheese for pizza and games to wear the little guys out. After that we were going to head back to his dad's place and put the boys down for a nap and watch some hoops.

Well....W goes nuts and again demands(notice a pattern here?) that I come home now or she will call the police and tell them I am kidnapping my son. I tell her that i have had it with her threats and bully tactics. Do what you need to do and I will be home when I want to. It is my day per YOUR agreement that YOU wanted so deal with it.

I cam home later around dinner time to get little guy fed and bathed and drove by OM house on the way and you guessed it W is over there right as we speak "missing her little baby"

I wish this was not a no fault state so that she could really feel the blunt of her actions.

Also, Filed under the crazy stuff a WAS says she actually told me that I should "regret not waking up more the first 6 months that S2 was alive when she was breastfeeding because now her indiscretions are valid since I ruined everything already!"

Not much else to say after that, just ready for the pain and hurt to stop.........

[Gardener]

Well....W goes nuts and again demands(notice a pattern here?) that I come home now or she will call the police and tell them I am kidnapping my son.

"Okay. Don't forget that's 9-1-1 and I'm at (address) with son. I'll wait here for them here."

drove by OM house on the way and you guessed it W is over there right as we speak "missing her little baby"

Stop doing this to yourself!

I wish this was not a no fault state so that she could really feel the blunt of her actions.

I can't say that I blame you.No-fault = No Consequences.

Also, Filed under the crazy stuff a WAS says she actually told me that I should "regret not waking up more the first 6 months that S2 was alive when she was breastfeeding because now her indiscretions are valid since I ruined everything already!"

WOW! That's a new one!

Not much else to say after that, just ready for the pain and hurt to stop.........

Keep doing as well as you are doing. Keep working on you FOR you, my friend, and detachment will eventually just happen.

[Buffet]

Hey G or others---

as for the GAL I am proud of how much and how far I have come in that area (feel free to swing away here!) Question though?

I can have a great time and enjoy myself and forget about things for awhile while I am out and doing something. However it all comes back like a ton of bricks when I go home, or lay in an empty bed.

My buddies think that once I move out that this will get better but I am not sure, I think that I really miss the relationship part of the relationship (and that does not just mean sex--although it is a part!)

What have others done to get over that feeling? Is that feeling normal to others?

[nsw1222]

It's very normal Buffet. and I dont know that moving out will necessarily change that. I had a dream last night about my ex...a wonderful dream...and then I woke up to an empty bed and realized it wasnt real...and it almost killed me. so living in a new place wont stop these feelings.

keeping your mind busy will help...but you cant keep it going 24/7. so in the meantime you just have to cope the best way you can. It may not be manly...but its ok to cry, yell, scream...whatever to get those emotions out.

[Gardener]

Hey G or others---

as for the GAL I am proud of how much and how far I have come in that area (feel free to swing away here!) Question though?

I can have a great time and enjoy myself and forget about things for awhile while I am out and doing something. Good. Better to have it gone for a while than never at all. However it all comes back like a ton of bricks when I go home, or lay in an empty bed.Normal. You can't cure normal.

My buddies think that once I move out that this will get better but I am not sure, I think that I really miss the relationship part of the relationship (and that does not just mean sex--although it is a part!) I wasn't sure at first and I missed the R, bad as it was and the (increasingly infrequent) sex.. For months, I would wake up at night after little "dreamlets," as I called them: I would think I saw or felt her form in bed. Think she just said something and I'd respond, half asleep. Then I would awaken and sadly say something out loud like "Oh, that's right: you're not there. You're not here any longer." or, "That didn't just happen,did it?" Those took a while to stop. Quite a while. Now? I'm glad she - and her ways and the tension- are gone. For now I enjoy living by myself.

What have others done to get over that feeling? Is that feeling normal to others? Normal. Takes time.

[flowmom]

Buffet, I never used to watch TV/DVDs but I have lately. I watch something light before going to bed to distract myself from the distress that I feel at bedtime. take care.

[ShockedOne]

Time and detachment are the only things to cure that feeling.

[Buffet]

Today the glove cam off for the first time from my side. W tried to go against the parenting plan that SHE put together and demanded that we follow. Well W only wants to follow the plan when it benefits her not the other way around.

I stood up for myself today and told her there was no way in hell that she was going to take any more of my time away from my son than she already has. If the plan says that I get to spend time with him on Monday than come hell or high water that is what I am going to do. She responded by calling her L to "rip up" the parenting plan. I got ahold of my L after dropping S2 off at daycare and my L asked for permission from me to get a bit more "agressive" with W and her L. I asked some questions and basically my L said that the L that W has is not looking out for W's best interest and is just trying to jack up attorney fess and the such and that after this case is over she is going to report him to the state board of conduct!

Also, L said that was is good for the goose is good far the gander so what we did was draft up our own response to the D petition and just switched names on it. So on W's agreement where it says "Buffet" now it says "W" and where it said "W" now says "Buffet".

If that deal was so "Fair" as W put it than she should be able to live with it from my shoes right? I know this seems childsih but what it does is starts a clock on a response time if they do not respond than her filing can be thrown out and than I can file and control this process more than I have been able to so far. W as some may remember has decided that she wants to stay legally married and just live separate lives and share S2 until he turns 18 than we can get a D!!! I am not and would not ever do that, I am worth far more than that.

So now, I am waiting to get W's reaction as I am sure it will not be a good one. She seems so intent on wrecking a M if she would have put 5% of this effort into her relationship than ALL of these problems would have been avoided. Oh well....My heart breaks for my S2 more than me at this point. I sometimes struggle to see it but I am sure that there is someone out there for me---my S2 doesn't stand a chance though he is going to be thrown into a suitcase and shuffled back and forth between homes now his entire life. What a crock deal for him--He will though come to know his dad as a strong and hopefully honorable person that would give anything to pave the way to a happy life for him.

[Gardener]

Buffet,
A fine display of "testicular fortitude"!!

[Buffet]

Thanks G! I am sure it was not perfect but feels good to stand up to her and say enough is enough. As one of my buddies just told me "what is she going to do D you?!!"

Funny enough there is some truth to that--I will admit at first for a long time and than more recently it comes and goes I have acted out of fear of rocking the apple cart, afraid of the unknown--in turn that makes me unavailable to grow and ever have a chance of real happiness. It is sad that W does not want this anymore but sometimes you get what you ask for!