I've been feeling happier, more free, and optimistic about my future since we filed for D. Instead of depression kicking in, I really feel a weight has been lifted. Friends at work commented on my positive attitude and even delivering sub-para performance evals to several employees couldn't dampen my spirits.
Yesterday, I put a note on FB about last night's varsity bball game being like a funeral for the other team & to wear black (student idea). The parents of the boy that died in his sleep in Sept saw it and freaked out. I was simply referring to the competition, but they felt the reference to a funeral was hurtful, insensitive and inappropriate. I had no idea until another "friend" added comments to my post, and then her own and made a big deal about it. I understand how they might take the funeral comment personally, but I've apologized several times and they are shutting me out now.
Gotta pick my words more carefully, just wasn't thinking I guess. Then this afternoon I saw my neighbor who's husband fell through a pond right after Christmas while ice fishing and died overnight before he was found. She is holding up so well. They had a bad argument the day he died, and he left the house to go fish for some trout for dinner. She felt awful about that last encounter. But today she was smiling and while sad, she is looking ahead at her future and making good plans to be happy. Part of that is moving to Cali to a small mountain town and being near family.
One family can't move forward. Stuck in their grief and four months later, they are still angry, depressed and just going thru the motions. Another lady lost her soulmate in such a tragic way, but she is pushing herself to carry on.
Doesn't mean one way is better or right. But I hope I will handle my future the way my neighbor is. Sad, but hopeful for a better future, thankful for the good times, forgetting the bad and carrying on.
