I'm guessing that this is the co-dependency that keeps coming up.
Yep.
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So what that says to me is...if I can tackle the codependency first, then maybe I can start working on me for me without regards to my ex.
They are one in the same. At the root of co-dependency is the illusion you (and I mean that in the generic sense) have that you derive your happiness from your ex. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. That is the fundamental concept to work on. Once you understand that, and live it, there is no more co-dependence.
You can then be happy WITH someone, not BECAUSE of someone.
