Flushing the toxins from my life

[CountingCrows]

Hey CC

I know you have little time for yourself... it is always the case. But my friend, you must make the time for you. You have support from family and friends. They are their for you. USE THEM!

GAL'ing is where you will eventually find your laugther again. Meet people, and create new adventures for yourself and child.

I know you're right about this, Andy. I would normally have my parents step up and give me some "me time", but my Mom has been in and out of the hospital for the past few weeks and hasn't really been up to watching a 7yo (she has MS). I have been leaning on some friends lately...one came over and watched S7 while I went to seminar this morning, but unfortunately that wasn't exactly a fun GAL thing.

How am I gonna keep myself away from me?

This line from Counting Crows (the band) used to run through my head a lot in the early days of our separation. Now, I'm finally getting more used to be being with me...alone. Although I'm tied to the house nearly every night, once S7's bedtime hits around 9pm, I do try and relax a bit. I probably spend too much time online, but I also have been doing some reading (actual novels, not just self-help stuff), still slowly getting my master bathroom remodeled, playing guitar, sketching and building some new computers for various home use. Sometimes the lonelies hit, and I'll talk with friends/family on the phone.

This time alone doesn't give me the social interaction that I need to forge new friendships and definitely doesn't give me near enough opportunities for laughter that I also need (online/sms ROFL, LOL and even spewmtndewoutmynoseontokeyboard don't count...even if they help sometimes). However, it does help me break away from feeling dependent on others for my own happiness...and keeps me from going totally insane in a very quiet house each night.

Can't wait until the days get longer and warmer, so S7 and I can get outdoors more...to the park, the nature preserve, the zoo. We're doing quite a bit indoors now, but I'm ready for some fresh air!