I'd like some input as to what to do about the apartment.
The apartment is now yours. Set it up the way you want it. It is very important to project that you are moving on without him. It is counter-intuitive, but I know what I am talking about. People want what they can't have. He will come back after you ONLY AFTER YOU HAVE MOVED ON. I have at least 3 women pursuing me right now. The only reason they are pursuing is because I AM NOT. I am nice, friendly, flirting, and at the same time mysterious. It is human nature.
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As H has taken some but not all of his stuff out of the apartment:
I would send him this text:
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H, I have decided that I do not want your things in my house if you are not living here. I want them out by the end of next weekend. If you do not remove them, I will take care of it.
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There are now "holes" everywhere where his stuff used to be.
Fill up those holes. Move everything around the way YOU like it. Do this ASAP. Cry while you do it if you need to.
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I'm afraid of sending the message that I'm assuming he's not coming back.
Read these words very slowly:
DO NOT LET FEAR CONTROL YOU.
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I'm assuming DBing would mean acting as if I don't expect him to come back? To re-arrange things to suit me?
YES. You want to project to H that you are fine with whatever he chooses. He is going to have to work to get you back. You will work on the M from two houses for a time.
I want your M to work. The things that will make it work ARE NOT LOGICAL. That is why I am strongly suggesting that you follow my words of advise.
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
