Havent been able to get to the boards in awhile. I guess it is true to be careful what you wish for! Not the H is home-I feel a little like a gerbil in one of those tracks--running and running. I know I cant keep this up for good but I am trying to bekinda the perfect wife and boy is that hard--cooking lots of meals, watching bball games with him, going out together, doing errands together, cutting back my night work ohours some so he isnt home long without me getting home.
I did go on the druise with my girlfriennds as it was already paid for and no cancel. No external signs of him rehooking up with the OW but I guess they fooled me for 2+ years and could do it again. H has been loving and affectionate.
I did have a little mini breakdown. I had asked him when the first time they "did the deed" At first he couldnt remember then when I said "your marriage vows meant so little to you that you cant even remember the first time you betrayed them?: he suddently remembered it was 2 years ago at the dental convention in Chicago that he is again going to in about two weeks. She is going to as is a whole bunch of his staff and his partner. He is rooming with his partner for the 4 days. I hope she is rooming with another hygienist but apparently his partner went home early two years ago.
He gets so agitated talking about the A at all that in my heart I know its not the right thing to ask any questions. Maybe later in the piecing process but he is so uncomfortable with feelings. I want this marriage to work very much so I have to somehow put all these questions racing around in my head away. My intuition tells me I must go very slowly. I havent even gone into his office or seen her face to face either. Do you think I should get back in counseling for myself through MWD or wait a little while? Talking here is definitely therapy too for the heart and sould? He hasnt said a word about us doing counseling-just that I am so different now he is happy and loves me.
