I do agree with you about the dynamics of the chase. In this case though, I've been being playful with her to gain back her trust and friendship. It's basically for the kids. Flirting was probably too strong of a word.
I'm really not that interested in getting into a R with her right now cuz she's got alot of issues to deal with. However, I feel sorry for her about the depression and while it's not my place to "cure" her or make her feel better, I still intend to keep things friendly between us.
Her depression affected her such that she was getting these mood swings that started affecting our co-parenting. And if there's one thing I have to do with her even if we may not be together is to be good parents.
Plus things have been going in a positive direction (maybe not in the way of getting together) but at least its building. I've never dealt with anyone with depression before, but once I saw it affecting the kids, I decided to do what I could to lessen it's impact.
"sufficient time to take place" is exactly right.
Thanks dude for the input.
Why do you feel the need to gain back her trust and friendship? In fact, I think you need to let her be. As you said, this is her journey, something she has to work out on her own. Part of her depression is linked to the affair, part of her depression is linked to the guilt associated with the affair:
"He still wants to be my friend after I did what I did to him, it just makes me feel more guilty everytime he's around trying to be friendly to me."
You can be friendly but don't go out of your way to be her friend.
You can be co-parents and be civil with each other.
But the flirting with her, you need to put an end to that for the time being.
