Well, I've been paralyzed w/fear to speak. So, I consider this a small victory for me!
I do need an escape plan, and it involves hot, and not necessarily brilliant, young men! J/K
Hey, I'm down 13lbs, though. 15 to go. Then, it's bikini season!
No fancy diets, just P90X baby, - abs, pecs, shoulders, quads, lats and arm and everything that goes into making a lean, sexy, muscular beach body.
- mind you that also probably why my wife wanted so much sex from me when I finally started working out during our separation, looking good is one of life's best rewards ;-)
woah, that p90x is a tough workout! I did it for 2 months, but then went out of town for a weekend, and never did it again. ya, shame on me. the bigger problem was I was starving when I did the program, and so I was eating more, like eggs and lots more protein, but then when I stopped, I didn't stop eating. oops.
oh well, consistency is my downfall.
Mind, I am really proud of you stating your thoughts to H.
Now, remember, you may not be getting the attention you want because H is giving you the attention that HE wants. so, maybe we could brainstorm on some ways that could show him without telling him, what type of attention you are really wanting.
which is.... I'm assuming one is intimacy, but what else.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Mind, I am really proud of you stating your thoughts to H.
As am I. You did good.
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
so, maybe we could brainstorm on some ways that could show him without telling him, what type of attention you are really wanting.
Sorry ST, I'm going to disagree with you on this one. Us men don't get subtle... or if we do... it takes like... FOREVER and a day for it to register.
Mind's going to have to TELL him what she wants... exactly like she did today. Then give him some time to digest it -- because even with direct it takes a little while.
You've got my kudos on how you handled yourself today M. THAT is the baby-step I've been urging you to take. Carry on with those because THAT'S the way you conquer your fear - and it's going to happen a lot sooner than you think.
So, I didn't have to go w/H and boys tonight, even though he got me a ticket. A former friend of mine, whose H was doing something for the show, stopped to talk to me, and I ended up talking w/her. I feel worse (in a way) now.
She doesn't know I know, but I know what a f'd up W and Mother she's been. And, I know she has cheated on her H, and stays away from their home for days. Once that started happening is when I distanced myself. Her H was our contractor/turned friend. He told me, a few years back, in tears, etc...
Well, they've stayed together, and I'm not sure why, because this has gone on years... her staying out and away from home and the infidelity.
She was telling me about how annoying it is for her H to always want to ML to her.
I couldn't take it. I asked her to leave. Told her I didn't feel well. I couldn't shut the door quick enough, and was sobbing.
How could this woman whose H knows all about her indiscretions have a H that still wants her?
H is home now w/the boys, and notices my sad demeanor. Gives me a few questioning looks, etc... I'm trying to stay away. The boys are awake and rambunctious.
If the opportunity arises, I will say something.
I may not always have been as attentive as he wanted, but he has never, for a day, not had a wife that doesn't love him, or desire him. I have NEVER considered anyone else. I have NEVER been a party mom.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Sorry ST, I'm going to disagree with you on this one. Us men don't get subtle... or if we do... it takes like... FOREVER and a day for it to register.
Mind's going to have to TELL him what she wants... exactly like she did today. Then give him some time to digest it -- because even with direct it takes a little while.
I'm with Gno, here. Women being "subtle" to us men is Mars and Venus. Give us the road map, the instructions, the end result. Something concrete to fix and we'll usually, proudly, fix it.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
J/K 