If you stopped practicing surgery for ten years and put your focus in other areas...your surgery skills would go to hell.
If at some point you then decided that you had been wrong to stop doing surgery, would you be able to walk right back in to the hospital and start doing surgery again?
Of course not.
You can't neglect something for years and then just suddenly decide that you're going to start doing it right immediately, and expect good results.
You've got your robx (and others) view point on one side. Allow me, if you don't mind, to offer a counter position.
There is no doubt a part of this that has to do with you being a true man in your relationship.
First off, I would say that this is NOT the critical issue in your marital problems. It's not that you've been too much of a wuss.
It's that you've been nothing but a paycheck.
And you were content with this because it satisfied your male ego as provider, AND allowed you to pursue all the other things that were more interesting that being Dad and husband.
Since the "bomb" you should have been focused on discovering these things about yourself and concentrated on changing those things. Reprioritizing, finding out what is truly important in life, especially as it concerns your marriage and your children.
Slowly but surely you begin changing YOUR mindset on these things. You begin to see your actions changing because of these new priorities. Your wife would see them too. And you wouldn't have to say a word.
It's not about whether or not you can land a babe. I'm sure your wife knows you can.
It's not about being nicer, because niceness can be faked.
It's actually about exactly what rob and the others are always going on about.
It's about becoming a REAL man. One who knows what is truly important in life, and you you know it because you can see it in the way he lives and the decisions he makes.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
