I'm not sure that you need 2x4's from anyone else, it sounds like you're doing a good job on yourself! You already know that you need to spend your time and energy on yourself and your daughter, not stbxw. I hope you find yourself soon in a better, calmer place than where you were this afternoon.
Also- has your atty seen any possibility of getting the financial orders re-worked so that you're not being crushed? I can't believe the courts are willing to let a parent to fall into bankruptcy. (Side note- as a woman, I really don't get your stbxw, or any of these other women with a sense of entitlement- the only support I get from my H at the moment is health insurance and I feel a bit guilty receiving that- I'm on my own for everything else.)
