#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

I'd like some input as to what to do about the apartment. As H has taken some but not all of his stuff out of the apartment: all of his clothing and toiletries, some linens, a small kitchen appliance, all of his books, 2 bookshelves, an armchair, our bed (which he replaced with a new one), most of his business inventory. There are now "holes" everywhere where his stuff used to be.

I haven't had the heart to re-arrange things to fill those "holes". We are cramped for space so if I knew he wasn't coming back, I would rearrange things to make better use of our storage space. OTOH, I'm afraid of sending the message that I'm assuming he's not coming back. H said it was a "trial separation" and that he hasn't made a final decision. He says he has no motivation to work on the M and is acting as if D is inevitable.

I'm assuming DBing would mean acting as if I don't expect him to come back? To re-arrange things to suit me? Psychologically that's hard for me. I'm very sensitive to my space and the arrangement of it has a lot of symbolic meaning to me.

Also should I consolidate his stuff in one area of the apartment and suggest he move it out? Or move his stuff into the storage locker (that he has access to) and tell him? I'd do one of those if I knew he wasn't moving back in, but again I don't want to send mixed messages about my desire to reconciliate, which I made clear when he moved out a month ago but haven't mentioned since.