Divorce seems eminent. What do I do now?

[Sleepy]

When she first dropped the bomb she said she wanted to move out, but I resisted since I thought that would just allow her to escalate the affair.

After trying many things, none of which worked, I finally summoned the guts to tell her the affair had to stop or she needed to go. She did not stop the contact, so she got an apartment. Originally we swapped out on weekends so she could spend time with the kids, under the condition that I would go along with it if she ended all contact with the OM. When I found out she had connected with him on a networking website, I called her on it and now I don't swap with her anymore.

We're not legally separated, but she seems to be settling in to her separate space and has not indicated any desire to come back. She's never said she wanted to work on us; she does not see us together again as a couple. But I continue to hold out hope for us. I've detached, and don't concern myself with her activities anymore.

I have no idea if she is still in contact with OM, but I'm guessing she is, just because of the depth of her EA. She told me a couple of months ago that she broke it off, but with her out of the house it doesn't matter anymore until she decides she wants to reconcile.

Sounds like a plan. I wish I had that option. I think if my wife was out on her own she would get the idea really fast.