I'm sorry for what is going on in your sitch. I don't get what's going on with your W, especially regarding the need for a father for them. Keep up with the changes you're making. Maybe over time she'll see them.
Regarding your case, does your L think the fact that custody has been a certain way for a year now, that a judge will look at that fact?
Also, would it be a good idea to let the kids chime (to the court) in about their desire to stay with you, at least 50% of the time?
You may want to have witnesses on your behalf lined up, because it sounds as if your wife will use whatever tactics she can to get what she wants.
