Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[Startingover2]

Just read through your thread and am wishing you the best. You sound like a great dad and I am sure the courts will see it that way too!

[antlers]

FAITH.
Fear does not win where there is faith. (Well, I guess we have free will).
Look, your W is still living in the past. She cannot see the new and improved Mr. A.
THE JUDGE CAN.
Keep the faith.
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference. Amen

So, how to increase PMA? Get your GAL on.

Hi goldey.

Yeah, I'm scared and anxious about this. And yeah, she is still 'stuck' with the old me. I hope the judge can see me for what I really am.

My 12 y/o son spent 12 nights in a row with me...didn't want to go to his mom's. I thoroughly enjoyed having him around so much. Damn, I miss having him around all the time like he used to be before this awful crap started.

My kids are with me on my days off.

[antlers]

Just read through your thread and am wishing you the best. You sound like a great dad and I am sure the courts will see it that way too!

I hope so. I keep hoping that she's gonna pull her head out and process the reality that kids need both parents!

[TulsaTime]

Antlers,

I'm sorry for what is going on in your sitch. I don't get what's going on with your W, especially regarding the need for a father for them. Keep up with the changes you're making. Maybe over time she'll see them.

Regarding your case, does your L think the fact that custody has been a certain way for a year now, that a judge will look at that fact?

Also, would it be a good idea to let the kids chime (to the court) in about their desire to stay with you, at least 50% of the time?

You may want to have witnesses on your behalf lined up, because it sounds as if your wife will use whatever tactics she can to get what she wants.

[antlers]

Antlers,

I'm sorry for what is going on in your sitch. I don't get what's going on with your W, especially regarding the need for a father for them. Keep up with the changes you're making. Maybe over time she'll see them.

Regarding your case, does your L think the fact that custody has been a certain way for a year now, that a judge will look at that fact?

Also, would it be a good idea to let the kids chime (to the court) in about their desire to stay with you, at least 50% of the time?

You may want to have witnesses on your behalf lined up, because it sounds as if your wife will use whatever tactics she can to get what she wants.

Hey man.

Yeah, it's a b!tch. I'm dealing with a hateful and vindictive woman, plain and simple. I'm gonna continue getting better and stronger, for me...whether she ever sees the changes or not.

I hope to heck the fact that custody has been this way for over a year will mean something to the Judge!

Their mom got a GAL involved with the case to do investigations, and they'll talk to the kids. Afterwards, they'll do an on-camera hearing with each kid individually and no counsel or parents will be there.

I'm lining them up right now...and yeah, she will do whatever it takes, regardless of who gets hurt (including the kids), to get what she wants. It's hard for me to get my brain around the fact that she's actually doing this crap!

[antlers]

This is an example of the whacked out thinking that I'm dealing with from her. Keep in mind that she has changed her filing from joint custody to sole custody. And she has constantly badmouthed me to the kids since she left. My son had stayed with me 12 consecutive nights recently. He didn't want to go to her house...he was supposed to be with her last night, but didn't want to go. He stayed with me again. Anyway, she sent me this e-mail last night...

"antlers,

1. Anytime I have the kids and you ask for them I let them go with you.
2. Anytime I have the kids and they want to go over there I let them.
3. If it's your turn to have them and they do not want to go, either I will
tell you or have them tell you. If your ok with them staying with me, then they
stay with me. If you're not ok with them staying with me then I support that
and get them to you.

You do not show that in return. You should be encouraging son to be with his
mother as much as he is with you. I would have never thought you would have
tried to drive a wedge between me and the kids as you are doing now. Kids can
deal with divorce. Millions go through it all of the time. But, for you to say
the stuff to these kids about me that you do and insinuate the negative stuff
about me to these kids that you are doing is causing more emotional and mental
damage to them that anything they are going through. The actual divorce doesn't
cause the emotional and mental problems, it's what they see and hear. In
addition, for your mother to say the negative stuff about me to the kids is just
as bad. As many times as we have been around my parents in the past year, they
have NEVER said anything negative about you to or in front of our kids.
According to our Temporary Order papers filed "Each party shall have temporary
visitation with the children about half of the time." You are now allowing
this. When it's time for them to come over here and you take them elsewhere and
I do not agree with it then #1 you are hurting them and #2 you are violating our
legal documents. One day they (son) will see what's really going on and you
will regret what you have done by not encouraging them to be with me.

I'm asking you that when it's my days to have them you support that as I have
done unless we agree otherwise. By not, it's hurting the kids more than the
parents. And if you truly love these kids like you say you do then you will not
do this to them.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

wife"


WTF? She's out of touch with reality. It's full of lies and misrepresentations of the truth! And, under the circumstances, it's unbelieveable that she wrote something like this to me! Sounds more like something I'd have written to her

[mnt_dreams]

hi antlers...

I'd let your attorney take a look at the email. It sounds to me like she will use the message and any response from you in the custody dispute. I'm sorry she's being so disagreeable. It's not fair to the kids, and in the end you and your W have to co-parent. Maybe a mediation would be helpful?

[Startingover2]

yes..i wouldn't even respond without your attorney looking at it.

[goldeylox]

Mr. A, thanks for your advice to take better care of Goldey. Working on it, really. "Some days are harder than others." Word.

[antlers]

hi antlers...

I'd let your attorney take a look at the email. It sounds to me like she will use the message and any response from you in the custody dispute. I'm sorry she's being so disagreeable. It's not fair to the kids, and in the end you and your W have to co-parent. Maybe a mediation would be helpful?

Good mornin'.

I have it saved in case I need it. It's not fair to the kids, that's for sure. Don't know about mediation...this is turning into a bad thing because of her.