My Story

[Awoken]

You've read some of my thread; good don't repeat my mistakes.

I have two threads here. I started the last one in a panic when I discovered that my W, the person I've trusted the most for the past 18 years, had taken all the cash (2000+) from our cash box.

I ran to the bank in a panic, worried that she had emptied the bank accounts. Fortunately the money was still there. I opened my own account, and transferred exactly half the money into it.

I had already seen a lawyer just to know what I was facing, and she had advised me to separate our finances then, and that taking 50 percent would be appropriate. I had been advised here to separate finances too, but I was scared to make her angry, to push her further towards divorce. I now know I was letting my fear control me, and I should have moved sooner. Not because of the money alone. My W is in some kind of a crisis right now, making strange selfish choices, putting her needs far above the needs of the family. Separating finances protected myself, and my kids!

Even on the day I opened my account, I was still hesitant to close the credit cards. Again, it was fear. Fear of pissing her off, and fear of taking one more step towards the destruction of my family. Again, I waited too long. When she charged her full graduate school tuition, which we had agreed she would use a student loan for, onto our shared credit card, I finally called and canceled it.

It my sitch, my W and I make almost equal incomes. I don't know about your sitch, or about D laws in your state. You should see a lawyer.

I think you should:
1) Don't let fear control you. Protect yourself, it's whats best for everyone.
2) find a good family law attorney, and spend an hour or two going over your sitch with them.
3) following good legal advise, separate your finances as soon as possible.