Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Journaling...It's been a good week for me with GAL, etc. I continue to work on myself. Nothing new to report with W. I continue to be content with NC with W. It's good for me right now. I haven't seen anything negative with W, things have been calm.

I've been hanging out with friends, going out. I'm actually able to have fun when I'm out with friends now and not think of W. I feel like I'm able to do things now that my W would always make me feel guilty about. Now that I have my new job it's nice to feel independent again. I've bought myself a few things to treat myself. It feels good to do some fun things for me finally. I always lived my life for my W and rarely did anything for me. Always trying to please her. IF my W and I were to eventually reconcile this would definitely change. I want a W that gives me my equal time. I've realized that you can't live your life serving your spouse and not taking time to do things for yourself. I feel like this prevented me from growing. I feel like I have grown so much and changed so much since my W left. What I really like is that I am truly doing this for me and not to get W back. If one day she notices and wants to come back that would be great but if not I am becoming a better person, a person that I finally like.

Once and a while I do think about my sitch with W. I'm still frustrated by how she handles this. Just leaving without talking to me. Still haven't had the "talk" as to her specific reasons for leaving although I still beleive it was the stress from the past two years. I think my W has been very immature regarding how she handled and is handling this sitch. As some have told me that she wants a strong man, I want a strong and "mature" woman. I want a W that is mature enough to talk to me instead of burying her head in the sand when things get rough. I want a W that supports me and doesn't run out when things get rough.

I've received some excellent advice for which I am extremely grateful. Please keep it coming. I would strongly suggest that others on this board listen to the veterans on this board. Their advice is spot on and can help you if you follow it. I now know that no matter what happens in my sitch I will be ok.

Sandi, how am I doing so far?