Yes, he definitely needs to constantly be reminded of his scheduled time, and you need to reaffirm that those times are the ONLY times he can come visit.
Sad, but true. Do it as calmly as possible b/c it's pretty hard to accuse someone of being mean/bi#$%@ when they're calm. Texts messages don't always convey it but so what? You're saying the TRUTH which he knows...frankly I think you've been very patient. When will he process this reality? When will he accept the boundary the LAW has set and live by rules like the rest of us? Oh, never? Well on THIS one little thing you actually do control, make him...not to be a jerk but to enforce a healthy boundary. This isn't some arbritrary control issue of yours making him dress her a certain way or you making him go thru hoops that don't make sense. THIS IS BASIC stuff.
A court granted him limited, supervised visits which MOST inconveniences YOU and has he apologized for that, or accomodated that truth? NO! Oh no, he's a victim and a self centered prig....come on, keep it up and remind yourself this is not a jail sentence he got (but could have by the way). This is just the floor, the bottom of expectations--"obey the law buddy"--to see HIS child, and he needs to stop blowing it, being late & pushing the envelope every chance he gets, whining and hemming and hawing and being a baby with the "WAH! I don't want to see MY child now b/c the other kids are playing and I wanna play with THEM NOW too, not when I'm supposed to, or agreed to, but NOW...---or NEVER~~(Stomp stomp!!)---or whenever I want!!! b/c it's all about MEMEMEME ME ME!!!"
God, I would probably laugh at him in lieu of going crazy with anger. He's so wildly inappropriate that you could enter several of his antics in our "Crazy WAS's" contest.... which reminds me.... Long ago a bf of mine (NOT H) whom I dearly loved and had dated over a year, broke my heart badly, & broke up with me for a new gf/ow. We were on a date! Only minutes after telling me of the break up, he made advances to do some serious making out, or MORE--for old time's sake??...and I withdrew...then he asked with total sincerity, "Oh great, is THAT going to put a damper on the whole evening?" Even in my misery, I KNEW I'd recall that line word for word, ya know? Sometimes stuff happens, and you think to yourself, "Someday, I'm going to laugh at this..."
And I do. Several of my gf's and I sat down one night and compared notes and were laughing at what had once been the most painful experiences we'd had...Sounds wacky to you now, but you have some real doozies (sp?) from your former h. I always stress the "former h" part of his title. I do that on purpose. I think you know why... Thank God for clarity, and it's nice that he keeps revealing his pathology to you. It gives you clarity.
So yeah, detach, move on, GAL, and carry on. You are "getting" it and someday you will laugh at this...(well, at least parts of it)
J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
