Her boss she sees every day is the guy who she had the original A with. And yes he had professed feelings for her too. Of course he told her he was going to work on his M with his W after I found out. spineless.
Anywho. I haven't brought up the A to her in awhile. Sure it nags at me since she's still with the guy, but I don't bring it to her attention.
I let her stay over because, well quite frankly, she still is paying for half the mortgage and there isn't anywhere else for her to go. I wasn't looking at it in a way that I could start getting her back. That's why I had to ask everyone's opinion. I really detached enough that I didn't really want to see her.
I have been lightly flirting with her, like the Walmart girl analogy. It has gotten some positive responses, so I keep it all light. I don't think she realizes it's flirting, so I'll see where that goes. I had already decided a long time ago to not jump at any positives. If she wants to improve our basic R (even if it's for the kids), she's going to have to start doing the work.
When I got home, everyone was asleep and I was actually surprised that she fell asleep in our bed. Of course it was with our daughters, but still, she had made such a big deal over the holidays to not sleep in it, I was surprised. While I was out, I met someone and I threw all my powers of attraction at her as a test and lo and behold, she gave me her number and wanted to go out somewhere later. I said maybe and that was that. It was good practice.
She hadn't mentioned the "not wanting to be married" bit for a couple of months and at the time she did, we were in an argument about R. During that discussion, I was telling her we still needed to communicate in a meaningful way when it came to the kids. She thought that once she was out of the M, her responsibilities would disappear for the kids. It was like once they were out of her hands, they were no longer her responsibility. But that was in the past.
Right now she seems to be happy to be in limbo. Not in terms of our R, but in terms of her not doing anything for herself. She's made the kids her life and her own needs second. That'll probably change if she finds OM, but like sandi says, she could be chasing the fantasy.
Tomorrow, I've got a long day with soccer in the morning, kids class in the afternoon and carnival at night. She works in the day, so she'll be joining us for the carnival. Time to boost the charm again and see what happens. If things go south, I always have the other girl's number. Just kidding.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
