I've hit a wall.. Now what?

[Ozymandias]

How about this:

I would like to advise you of some decisions I have made. We have nothing to discuss in person as things are now. It’s clear this divorce does need to move forward. Here is where I stand.

I know you have some complaints about my role in our marriage. As you know, have been dealing with my issues. I believe in time you could see that those changes are for real. I am willing to put in some effort to see if this marriage can be saved.

However, I cannot and will not respect your decision to cut and run and I damn well cannot respect your decision to involve a third person in our marriage. This situation cannot continue as it has been. I will not continue to maintain a friendly relationship with you when you are committing adultery.

I will not exist in an open marriage. I will not continue to support your adultery financially. At this point I am not opposed to an amicable Divorce process. If you want it your way you can have it – quick, simple and easy; but only after you and I have worked on our marriage without the involvement of a third person.

Until that happens there is no longer an open invitation for you to come home. Throughout the D process I will consider reconciliation and counseling. I have not changed my position of taking time between the two of us to see if this relationship can be saved, but I will no longer give you the impression that you can just come home. I deserve more than that from my husband.

You may file for Divorce at any time, as you have always been able to. I am not stopping you and I will no longer ask you to wait for my benefit. I will do what I am required to protect myself legally.

I’m not trying to control you or take advantage of you.
You have chosen this path and I will not stand in your way; however you will no longer take advantage of me. You have choices here; I am giving you my boundaries of those choices.