You know what, I really don't want to get wrapped up on something that will go on for months and nothing changes and you don't even try and see another point of view and in six months you are still saying how horrible things are.
So I will just say this... you sound so mean and spiteful! My gosh.
If you want to do something nice or offer to do something nice for somebody then do so without expectations or strings attached. So what if your ex never responded? For crying out loud the woman had dental surgery earlier this afternoon! YOU WERE INFORMED SHE WOULD BE NAPPING/RESTING/RECOVERING ALL DAY yet you are pissed she didn't fawn all over your offer to help out.
So if that makes you "too damn nice" well, no thanks is what I say. You only do nice things to get the result you want (attention from your ex) and when your gestures don't yield the results you want you get mean and nasty and write them off.
You will never be able to work on you or DB with that outlook.
Are you teaching your daughter this stuff?
Your entire thread is filled with "tit for tat" scenarios and I think it is just terrible.
Work on boundaries. There is plenty of info on this forum.
If you want to do something nice or offer to do something nice for somebody then do so without expectations or strings attached. So what if your ex never responded? For crying out loud the woman had dental surgery earlier this afternoon! YOU WERE INFORMED SHE WOULD BE NAPPING/RESTING/RECOVERING ALL DAY yet you are pissed she didn't fawn all over your offer to help out.
that's usually how it's supposed to work...doing nice things for people without expecting anything in return. still its nice to be acknowledged...and I'd bet money she responded to others.
You were acknowledged earlier in the day but that was not good enough for you as you had expectations on how exactly you *should* be acknowledged.
Expectations and speculating. Very good DB'ing attributes! Just WTG, man!
Look, if you want somebody to argue with it won't be me. Been there, done that and have the t-shirt.
I was an absolute hot mess for a long time. A terribly broken and flawed person. I had to do the work. I am still doing the work. I had to learn everything I thought I knew in a better way. I don't think you want to.
I think this issue would have been better tackled if I hadnt made the offers in the first place.
I mean...I am supposed to be not pursuing and detaching. But I felt sorry for her being in her situation and wanted to jump to her rescue like I used to...which isnt detaching or avoiding pursuit.
What I guess I still havent learned is that she doesnt care. If its coming from me, it's not even as welcome as if its coming from a stranger.
All my attempts do is make me look more pathetic...and as I said give them something to laugh about. My ex even told me I was an idiot the other night when I went over there for not seeing that she and the OM were together/dating. (She may have said that to hurt me out of being pissed...but it did its job given all the time we were spendign together and her saying she wasnt going to make promises to anyone.)
I think my neighbors would have a problem with me screaming outside...and in a state like this alcohol only leads to drunk dialing and texting...very bad.
I think I was right the other day. The best chance of getting a postive response from my ex is to be positive when she's around and when theres contact.
No more being an ass, no more not talking, no more arguments or serious discussions...no more emotions in front of her other than happiness and contentment.
Even if she doesnt respond in kind, at least when she thinks back on the last interaction each time it will be positive.
It's kind of strange...but my thinking about being positive around her actually makes me feel better about myself.
