My story, what to do next.

[digger22]

W came over today to pick up kids and figure out long term plan for kids scheduling. W usually gets up at 5 and works till 4, 5 days a week. I used to be the one that got kids off to school/ daycare and was home for them in time to get them back in the house. I told W I decided it was only fair that we split our days up and kid responsibilities so that I have an equal opportunity to get my work duties done. She goes off and says her job is not that flexible ...blah blah .. Whatever, we figure out a reasonable plan where we will basically split the kids every two days and mix up weekends.

The day goes on and we head to the bank to set up her own checking. In the past day we have realized that we won't be getting much if anything back from taxes (have been getting around 8k back for the past 3 years), our savings has dwindled down about 15k since the bomb, and we don't have the 2k to facilitate the D. We also have a well we need to get drilled before we sell our rental house 5K and 1/2 taxes coming up for 3K. All this is starting to get to her she goes off about finances and that we both do so well, but don't have nothing to show for it. She says that I need someone that likes to take risks like me, blames me for our finances. ect... I throw it on top that I am not sure we could get a loan to handle this, but she could certainly try. (i like stirring the fire)
Finally says that she will ask her mom for the money to get D done although she feels bad since she makes 6 figures.

I have been doing real well with validating lately. Felt her concerns and let her know that I didn't really expect all of this to come up now and I hadn't figured it into the budget. I tell her that I to am looking forward to a simpler life, but I don't let our financial concerns get to me. I stayed totally calm all day and she was off the hook. (it was nice to have the old W back. She has been way too calm the last month) One problem I am having is that she really likes to tell me how I feel/ think about things. EG I don't love her, I like to live in chaos. I have just been listening and correcting her or tell to not tell me how I feel... is this the proper way?

Anyway, starting a new job next week until construction season picks up. My business has been getting a lot of calls these past few weeks so spring is looking good for work. The job I will be starting I will probably make in 3 months what i could make in 2 weeks with my company, but it just seems like a good thing to do. Less time to think about the D and also puts a little pressure on W to start wearing her big girl panties with responsibility with the kids.

Anyways, the W ends up calling after she leaves and says that she is sorry, she doesn't blame everything on me and is truly sorry with all her heart for telling me how I feel.