Well said. That is what I am trying to do: sift and find the right solution. If I knew for sure what it was, then I would not hesitate to do it, but the uncertainty/finality is what kills me.
As far as the boys go, I may be deluded, but the all the kids know is that dad is doing what dads do: provide for the family. I call and write letters. I have boys so as long as the cable is on, the gamecube is working, and the Rhapsody subscription is paid; they are cool.
They love me when I am home and hate it when I have to leave "how many days will you be staying here" "when are you coming back" but because I have never worked a "normal 9-5" they are used to me coming and going at weird times. Whenever I am home I take individual "daddy time" with each of them (usually involves food, games, and me buying something). Their behavior has not changed (all are still getting good grades, no behavior problems at school or at home, not excessively clingy or aloof) so I think they have been shielded from the storm.
So far.
Me 36 W 40 S 13, 9, 7 ILYBNILWY 2-08 Discovered EA 3-08 Reconciled 7-08 She says she's been faking it 11-09 She wants to separate 12-09
