Some therapists reccomend writing out a script for your self.. MEMORIZE LINES like in a play and rehearse them.

Once he's there and you read them... the scene is over... just WALK OUT.

Part of the problem is he's getting your mind into his drama. If you have everything you want to say memorized then he can't pull you in. Just stick to the script and ignore him.

I have done this, it does work. The protest needs to be SHORT and NOT hostile. You state your case and exit. No long drawn out crying and shouting... that's not helping him. Remain calm while he's panicking. Remain quiet. Tell him she's attacking his home and his family and you need him to PROTECT his home and family. Then LEAVE.