Thanks for such a thorough recap. This will help me -- help ALL of us -- a LOT.
I'll have more for you when you get back. You can also reach out to me in the alt -- a bunch of us are on there. For now, just go away for your weekend and CHILL, and try not to think about all of this. It's not going anywhere in the next few days anyway.
I know this feels like a sucker-punch, but I will leave you with two thoughts, both of which helped me:
1) After you get over the initial shock, it is actually COMFORTING to know that there are REASONS behind your wayward wife's behavior. At this point, as deep in as she is, ALL of her actions can be explained PHYSIOLOGICALLY -- she's chemically addicted. That doesn't EXCUSE her choices, but it DID make me feel better and not take things so personally.
2) I firmly believe that God doesn't give us any more than we can handle at one time (see I Cor. 10:13, for those so inclined). The things I found out about my wife's affair -- had I found those out ALL AT ONCE? I seriously think they would have killed me. Literally. Sometimes the "2nd shoe dropping" is devastating, but it beats the alternative of both shoes dropping at once. Maybe God threw you a bone, like He did to me.
Hang in there, and look me up in the alt. if you need a buddy to talk to. YOU WILL GET THRU THIS, and stronger than before, too. That I promise you.
