Calling out the Piecers

[dday101798]

I know once I get wrapped in bringing us back together

Thanks for the post Reconcilled.

Actually, (x)W is the one doing the heavy lifting on the "bringing us back together", as it should be. I've lost count on how many times in just the past week as she has worked to accelerate getting the family back together and I say I am stressed to my limits on so many aspects and am very tight on what I can or can't do, she says not to worry and that she'll handle it since she caused so much disarray in her WAS state. So, she's in full recognition of the consequences that were bestowed upon everybody. Very good thing.

On the friends bit, I guess I should ahve worded that a bit differently re-reading it. What I meant was they were saying it's like nothing had every happened. (x)W and I were always the couple to look up to. We have been involved in every one of our friends or families weddings to some degree. And then, the hellacious A, seperation and D happened. And here we are now, happy as clams, moving forward again. So their point was that they knew we'd be back together again, and that it seems like the D did nothing but pump more energy and devotion into our lives together.

Comfort: I amm very comfortable. Maybe too comfortable for some looking in from the outside. I am not worried as I have said, if I were the one doing all the major work, surely I would be more cautious. However, (x)W is the one doing the massively hard work and proving that this is what she wants. So, she has far more to lose than I should she slip.

The only thing that makes me feel "ackward", is a bit on the personal side, but we're all adults here and I wanted to start a thread in "sexual issues" but I guess I'lll lay it out here. So on that note, there's a couple of things on that aspect that are the only things that make me "ackward": 1 - I'm becoming concerned that I may night be meeting her needs in that department. I don't know what it is, maybe the euphoria of being back together, but my ability to keep up with her is rather lack luster. Doesn't matter if it's the first time or thrid in a matter of hours, she just gets me, quickly. Our M was always spontaneously intimate. Even if we had company over, we'd slip away at moments notice for a 'quickie'. When the M started to deteriorate, the frequency dropped dramatically. After our in house seperation in 3/08 we had that one month that more intense than ever in regards to intimacy, I mean INTENSE.

So, here we are today, and things are heated, but we're contricted on how to handle that. Maybe that's the problem? I know when we get our own place, the 'do not distrub sign is going to see quite a bit of use.

Then there's issue 2. (x)W and I have spoken quite a few times about the loss ovf our daughter. And we're not getting any younger. As our younger friends and family members are having babies, we can see it in each other's eye that we're definately going to try again. But, it appears she is more dietermined than I as she constantly is initiating things without protection. Case in point last night and when I knew thing were about to get to that point, I went ot get it and she wrapped around me tightly as to restrain me from doing so.

I am going to have a talk with her tonight on this. That does bother me. I wnat us to be situated as a family, stable, and most of all re-married before we have another child.

I am not forgetting me at all. I constantly keep myself in mind as (x)W pitches idea after idea to our lives together to me, and I say where I am at and what I can and can't do, will or won't do.

The house is going to be a wonderful thing. Detailing in next post.