I had a really bad day yesterday... He got to me again and we ended up in a R exchange with him spewing and me jumping to the bait every time.
It's too painful for me to post what he said right now...
This stuff does hurt.
This is one of the reasons we avoid R talks. Especially considering that in a few days, weeks, YOU will still remember what was said, and he probably won’t.
Taking the bait is a hard habit to break.
It can be done.
If you can recognize it before you open your mouth to react, then you will not always fall into the trap.
Eventually you will find that even if you do react, your reactions will be different than they would have been in the past.
Right now, if you can learn to validate his feelings, eventually it could make a difference in your communication.
As someone who recently had something validated to me, I can tell you, it broke down my anger and frustration and allowed a productive conversation to happen. (DB principals at work in any type of R LOL)
I am not saying that will happen with your H right away, but over time, it is possible. It has actually stopped many a not so pleasant conversation with my H as well.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
