My Story...possible "grass is greener" scenario?

[Gardener]

nsw,
This may be your first reply to someone that didn't amount to an ignore-the-advice-and-instead-lead-with-a-defensive/corrective "Yeah, but I..." or "But you know that she..." or "Actually, I..."

Hopefully that's a first step toward real progress for you.
We shall see.

She doesn't want a nice guy. She wants a strong man

Exactly!! I've said it here before, and here it is again:

Too many damn guys in this world and not enough men!

I think you need to get away from her and stay away for your own mental health sake. You did not want the R near as much until she walked out. Now you are completely obsessed by it. That is not healthy. You have so much work to do on your own growth before you have a future with her.

Dead-on, Sandi!

The challenge to you, man-to-be nsw1222, is: Can you do this? Will you do this?