Thanks Cagz. Your right the years are passing. I was divorced at the end of 2007. It will be 3 years in November. Unreal.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
And I am right behind you in the years my friend. Mine was final July 2008. I remember your postings.. still breaks my heart for you.
You have lost much over the last 3 years T. I am still determined to see you some day!! This connection is too close to not ever get to give you a REAL hug adn see your beautiful face!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
I know we will meet someday. I have no doubt. Maybe even one day laugh about what we went through.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Another holiday.. glad i never was into this one anyway. oh well right?
so wierd. i have nothing to report... haven't seen him for awhile. trying to take the advice of many here and just do my own thing.
s21 was home for a couple days to take care of some stuff.. he went and saw xh for just a bit.. while he was there found out he had been to Vegas recently. but now he only has $3 in his checking account!!?? whatever.. just dont say anything why do you have to lie??! but again - i shouldn't care.
so much has changed within me over the past month. i have completely let go.. or close. i still wonder way to much about him, who he is with or not with and about his life. i dont want to think about him anymore. but i do.
that part of all of this is probably one thing that bothers me the most. the amount of time and energy that i have spent dreaming/loving/hoping thinking about someone who really doesn't care about anyone but himself.
all the tears......... oh my gosh. waisted on him. Jeez
some things i still dont understand.
my kids - his kids. The LACK of contact. He doesn't call/text email d13 ever. UNLESS it is the day he is going to pick her up... and even that is scarce. I just dont get that one. He adored her. wanted a baby girl so badly....... this i will never understand...
the hurt they cause..
oh well.. another day. another holiday.. coming up on the 3 year anniversary of when he left. WOW! can't wait till i forget these milestones!!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Hugs Cagz. My ex told me long ago that the kids are a reminder of the failure he is, so thus it is hard to face them. Maybe that is the case with your ex. It is his loss. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY. This day is not too hard for me, it never really meant too much to me either.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
My x just keeps spinning in the same circle.. round and round. Nothing has changed with him... NOTHING
When he first left I was surprised for so long.. I thought he was "better" than who he really was. I always knew he was selfish... but he took it to such higher levels.. it continually surprised me.
since he and bimbo b really broke up he has gone through so many woman.. Short term relationships - or whatever you want to call the.. Thinking right now I think I know of at LEAST 6 or possibly 7...at least he has only introduced d13 to 3 of them! BUT STILL...good grief!
I know for many your x left and is still with ow. AND THAT WAS HELL!! I remember the hurt.. But there is this very strange level of hurt that happens with this type of leaving...
He left He had something with a very young girl They break up - still doesn't "want me" he goes from woman to woman - none work and he still "doesnt want me."
I think I am ok with it.. It is wierd. But it does get to you after awhile.
I dont date. NOT that I am oppossed to it.. just dont have the time. HE dates - lots.
I dont knwo what I am really feeling today. Confused about some other stuff in my life. Wondering about what I am doing - and where I am going. Trying to be a good mom -
I realized TODAY how much CRAP I did through this thing of my own. The stupid mistakes. The stupid chocies that I made during the last 3 years. AND TODAY they are in my face. I dont like it....
just a hard day.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Does it help you to think the fact that he is going through so many women...that it is so much proof its not about the WOMEN OR YOU...he is messed up....I think when there is only one OW and then they even marry them you are left with...wow they must be in that I cant live without you , where have u been all my life....soul mate mentality....
but when they just go thru many woman......they are truly looking for something they will never find.....
This is a hard road either which way, we have all lost our families and nothing will ever be the same again......it is what it is.....
I try and just focus on what I do have left.....and be the best person you can be and heal....it is so terrible to feel like the one you built your life with would do anything for as chosen to discard u....your mind no comprendo
His behavior is so out of line that it screams, CRISIS. It is so clear in your situation that he has a major problem with life right now. This is definitely his problem and he thinks he will find a solution in relationship.
Leave him be.
Please, friend stop being so hard on yourself. Nothing you could have done would have changed this.
Trusting
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
