Question

[awest1217]

Thank you for the encouragement. It was weird, but H never text me last night to say good night. I sent him a text to say thank you for dinner and good night, but I got nothing back. He might have been sleeping by then (although he was on FB not too long after I text him). He said last time he wasn't on FB and I said then someone was...I wonder if OW is getting on? Anyway I just have to remember to keep being patient. I am doing the best I can to foster a good R with H, but sometimes it is hard because over Christmas I was back to really being romantically in love with H. I got butterflies when he would just sit next to me. It was all nice. Right now he will kiss me (nothing major) and there is nothing. I feel like it means nothing. I think I am wanting the romantic "i want you and never want to leave you. I am coming home and ditching OW no matter how that hurts me because I love you so much." of him telling me he is coming home because he wants to be with me no matter what, and I haven't gotten that. I feel like everything is back to how it was before. He comes over and does what he has to do in order to not lose me, but he doesn't have to sacrifice.

I know that is all wishful thinking. Thank you for the reminder about our vows. Lately, everyone around me here is saying kick him to the curb because they love me, and they are all highly religious people so when I say I am sticking it out, but with boundaries, they say "why". He cheated on you so you have the biblical right to divorce him. I try to explain how I have read even though he did that I feel it is wrong to get a divorce because God only allowed divorces because people were complaining. It was His "I've had enough. Here are the rules you want." Thank you very much for giving me that reminder. The youth conference I am praying will help, and the woman I would say is my mentor, contacted me for an update so I told her how I am feeling and hopefully she will have something to help me get over this hump because if H is serious, I don't want to be the one who is hindering everything.