HI flo, thanks for posting to me, much appreciated...
Accepting the possibility of a D, for me as well was a a process. What helped me believe things would be managable was the fact that after the separation, I realised I WAS LINING as a divorced mom of two. I realised it wasnt something I should be afraid of, I was there already... That freed me from the fear of the unknown, of all the practical problems, of raising the kids, etc etc. I only had to deal with my emotional divorce from the man I loved. As months went by, I knew I would be fine. It wasnt something I wanted, but I would be fine anyway.
I know I may sound naive, but what changed my attitude was reading the Secret. The Greek translation sucks but it reminded me I wasnt a helpless "victim" of someone's choice, I had the strength, the powers to make my life how I wanted it. At least that's what I gained from the theory...
As far as separation and chances for reconciliation, in my story, the separation was the best thing that happened to us. I should have kicked him out of the house months sooner. It relieved the pressure, I stopped walking on eggshels,I regrouped, I used the time he had the kids to GAL, I felt my house as home again and not as war zone, I relaxed...
For him, it allowed him to see the OW when he wanted to, he missed our family times, he missed our home, he stopped seeing me as the evil witch, he started missing me, he came face to face with the reality of not being part of our family. He idea of being divorced meant he could come and go in our home, have some kind of "twisted" rights over me, that I would be there for him for practical and other issues etc etc.
His change of mood happened in March on my birthday, he left for me at my home when he came to pick up the kids (and I was gone)a gift, a pair of silver sandals I had expressed I wanted months before he moved out. It took him 4 months to start seeing thru the fog.
When he felt I was really "leaving him", he approached me the first time for reconcilation, almost a year after the separation.
Each case is different and things can change. Stay strong and I know it may sound stupid but, stop worrying...
I agree, your C sounds good. Keep going.
I hope things with your little one will go smooth. xxxx K
