Calling a truce is a nice way to put it. I told her tonight that I wasn't willing to move out, but I'm good with some kind of division/separation in the house. I told her I might, if I really felt it was needed, go to a hotel for a couple days or a week at most, but I'm not at this point. I reminded her that she can make her decisions as she needs if she can't be patient, but I just need her patience while I sort my brain out.
In a way, I'm trying to end the incessent R talks, but also get some breathing room to clear my mind. Reviewing it, its like she's been asking for a D for so many years, while I just secretly wanted it but never asked. Finally, I gave it and 'ok'd the D. She declared she never meant it, but didn't work at all on the M. Near the final hour when I was about to file, she wanted to work it out. I agreed. Suddenly freaking on how I could agree impusively (ADHD), I said I wasn't sure, then she didn't want it, then she did, then I got it by love and ML. Then a few days later she didn't want it cause she knew I didn't want it. Wash, rinse, repeat. 7x in one month. I gave up and began heading toward D again. She agrees to counselling, but suddenly we're ML while still separated. I need time I say, she says, 'then move out for one month, it's for the best, but maybe I won't want you in a month' Wash, rinse, repeat...
So I'm not sure if I should go closer, set firm boundaries that are like having candy around you but you don't touch, or follow her advice and ship out for a couple weeks until Retrouvaille (in or out of the house physical separation?)
Question...do you think further separation makes any sense if we are going to Retrouvaille? What a stressful year...but it might end the stresses of an 11yr M as another 40 happy ones or just ended.
I need a manual. You know, one of those you have but the answers become clear through osmosis?
