feel like giving up - talk to me!

[Gardener]

patpat, this is excellent. Just excellent.

((((luv))))

I have tried...I really have...anyone who knows me even says, "I can't believe how well you've done through this." I guess the "trying" doesn't work though. I know.

Luv, you have been hurting alot lately, for a long while.... longer than I. All I can say to you my dear is that sometimes love hurts. It truely is hard when your H continually makes bad choices that impact your life and the lives of those around you (ur children). You naturally respond by color:#FF0000]trying[/color] to get your life back on track. You keep trying to fix the things your H has choosen to do, the things you yourself did not break. It really is painful to stand by and watch H self-destruct. Remember, H is doing this. This is not something that you are doing to him. H must suffer the consequence and you need to force his hand.
When you try and try to help, over and over and over, but never see any progress - then it is time for you (((luv))) to make a decision. Here's the thing, sometimes to show love to H is to just stop trying.
You also need to know this my dear, even though you may have to physically walk away from H, your heart never stops loving. Now, the only thing you can do here is to trust H to God.
The way to detach luv is to just stop trying.
Everyone asks, "how do you detach without detaching"? Everyone asks this question. The question really is this, "how can you stop hurting and not stop loving"?
The answer is and always has been to stop color:#FF0000]trying[/color].

My personal take on this is that your H does know you are a great mother, a good wife, and a compassionate friend. I think he needs you more than he will admit. Maybe this is why he plays the games he plays, says the things he says etc... H knows your heart better than you do. H knows your heart will always be there. H knows you will always love him. H knows you will always try. H does not know that you know how to 180 your life. Luv, just let the try die.

He knows you are trying hard to save the M. This gives H all the control. H knows that you are thinking with your heart and not your head. So, I say just "give him some head".... (no pun intended)

Like G, ST and Rob have told you the same in no lesser words...

Take your life back. Take it away from H. If he misses it, H will come after it... H will know where to find you.... you will be right behind an open door, as we all are here.

Listen, heed and do it, luv. Just. Do. It. And monitor the results. You will more than likely be amazed. And happier. And at Peace.
Do what patpat. says.