She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Gardener]

Awoken,

Tonight, he finally opened up to me. We talked for over an hour, with us both trying to hold back tears the entire time. Me trying to be the good dad, and him trying to be the good son. He's been acting like everything was ok, and that he was handling everything, but I knew he was having a really hard time. He told me so many things, and I could tell he was really telling me the truth, not the equivocation that teenagers often provide. I'm so thankful for him!

Thank God!
At the same age, S13, left my apartment years ago (I had gotten one within walking distance of our house) Got 20 or 30 feet, turned around crying and running back to me. We sat on my big Adirondack chair, I held him tight on my lap. We talked a lot. At the end, I looked him in the eyes, smiled and assured him, "You will be alright! I will be alright! You and I will be alright. Always."
This summer, at age 31 - eighteen years later - he told me about that moment in that chair and how everything did get better after that and that he never forgot that moment. Gardener, of course, cried.

Awoken, be strong and do your utmost best - at all times - with S13 like you're doing now. Not just for the hurting boy but for the man you're forming and building.

I talked to him about maybe seeing someone to talk to outside his family and friends (IC). He was dead set against it. But, as it often is with teenagers, I'll wait and see how he feels in a few days after he's thought about it so more. At least I've had the chance to plant that seed.

Firmly insist. Or give it the old "just try it a couple of times. That's all I ask." Find a family counselor and talk to him/her alone first to get advice on how best to overcome your son's reticence. Go with him, even if just in the beginning (leave that up to the counselor) don't send him. I did it with both my boys and it did the three of us much good.

Also, Awoken, it's your sitch and marriage and pain, too. Open up to him more. Express some hurt, fear, doubt, regret. It will help him open up more and likely cause him to pitch in to comfort you (while he's unknowingly comforting himself -and growing in his own eyes - at the same time).

Peace,