There's a reason why I'm hammering you on the drive.
1) You will be concentrating on the road so your full attention will not be on her. 2) You need to be face-to-face during any discussion so you can gauge her body language. 3) You need to be in a "safe" environment for any talk. One where you can get up and leave freely when you feel your emotions start to take over. 4) There should not be any external interruption possibilities -- your son and grandson in the car could lead to distractions and abrupt interference when focus is required.
There are other things, but I can't recall them at the moment.
Completely understand. Have considered every option. Too much to explain all reasons. But here is an overview.
S24 lost DL. So he can't do the drive himself. Considering everything, I really have no choice.
Though I won't tell W S24 is coming, she will completely understand when he shows up with me. W will be glad to see him too, as he's been out for 3 month's. Will not be upset in any way with this.
Meantime, she can sit and think about whatever she has been wanting to say. But W won't have hours to talk while I drive. Will be lucky if there is 5 minutes at any point.
As I said, have thought of every angle possible. But S24 coming in gives the only chance of eliminating too much alone time, and still be a way W can't be upset about, or throw back at me in any way.
Gno, glad you're watching my back, but this actually may be the only way it could have worked out, without W having a reason to hold something against me. Unusual situation, but just have to work it in my favor.
W will not even try to talk about R with S24 in the car. At this point, as things worked out, W will be excited to see S24, and won't have any animosity in any way.
I can relax, and enjoy the drive back while W catches up with S24, and her grandson.
As a Mom, I can tell you, his W will NOT want any kind of issues brought up in front of son and grand son. We tend to insulate our kids... nurture, not expose.
I get G's concern, though... Stay glued to S24, though!
Good thinking on the going out of town on Monday. I like that.
Let her settle into your home, pretty much, without you there to make it "whole" right away. Let her miss the life, she supposedly misses, upon re-entrance.
Last edited by mindfull; 02/05/1003:28 AM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Funny you dropped in. Just stopped by your place, but you gals were into the wine, choclates, cookies, etc. Thought I better leave, before I need to go on a diet.
OK, I get it. I would have asked W to stay somewhere else because she is going to be a very disruptive force. Those would have been the consequences for her leaving. Right now she gets to walk back into the home and do as she pleases again. That is something I would have advised against, but your hand has been forced back into the:
Thats why I liked him being gone on Monday... Don't let her get too cozy.
Hey Dale!
It's dangerous in there. I've created a shoe gallery on my fb page. We're discussing espadrilles, gladiators, uggs and Reeboks, too. I'm installing a new email system in the background, AND assisting in honors algebra. It's a tough night. I may need a motrin.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Since W is returning home, I did text her and lay out one condition. Did not want to wait until she was here for this.
"W, after these last 5 month's, I have to tell you it WILL be different. If you can not say there is no affair anymore, even on the net, and prove it, don't expect to come back to this house. If you do come, I can't promise anything right now, except that choice if you want to come here."
25 minutes went by, then she answered "I think I can live with that." I replied "Let me know when you are sure."
Gno, sorry if I'm jumping the gun. Just the more I thought about it, whether she flew back here, or rides back from there, I can't let her walk up to the door without knowing how it has to be before she walks through it.
Who knows, it's been another 20 minutes, no answer to my response. W might just stay there.
