Doing hard time on the MLC chain gang.

[MHL]

Will do on the FB thing anyhow but I am keeping it real here, the advice has been far better than any C session I have ever been to.

You really brought up something that I have thought about but have repressed. That is if I get my D13 and my W to reconcile that will help me reconcile with my W. As much as I want to "work on" or "do something" to "fix" my M, I know that I can only really work on myself for me. If I truly want my W and D13 to have a R, I will aide that for the benefit of my D13.

Now I have to be honest here and keep it real. I have thought about my D13 hating and detesting my W for the rest of my D13's life, the ultimate "See what you have done, serves you right biotch" to my wife. I would be lying if I said that evil thought never crossed my mind especially in the scenario that my W and I never reconcile.

The flip side of that thought is "What a great father and husband I will be if I can somehow foster reconciliation between D13 and my W" and my W will obviously come running back into my arms.

I do know that ultimately my D13 will benefit from having a R with my W no matter what, even if my D13 doesn't realize it right now. I am not sure where my D13's C (not psycologist but licensed child therapist, I researched her thoroughly) falls on the subject of whether or not my D13 "needs" to have a R with my W. I am letting this person be my D13's C and not an extension of what I think should happen, (exercise in letting go and non-controlling behavior for me.)

I am rambling here b/c it is late and I need to hit tackle this in the am. Needless to say, working with my W towards a common goal does present opportunities to demonstrate good changes in me w/o pursuing but I need to keep it about my D13 and not let my desired outcome with my W, impact decisions about helping my D13.

More tomorrow, I am wiped!!!!

Oh yeah, thanks again to all......in the words of Wayne and Garth "I am not worthy".