You said: rr22, I hear you. IT's funny how I was given "chances" to change without knowing they were chances. Now I feel I am giving W chances to change and I'm not seeing anything.
I know we lack communication and I know my faults. It does take two to communicate and I feel she isn't taking responsibility for her faults.
Some people on the board have pointed out, unfortunately, that it's unrealistic to think they will take responsibility for their faults and contributions to the relationship problems at such an early phase. The more work we do, the more we want them to, but they don't. They're not there yet. Supposedly some will get there and some will never get there because they want to be "perfect" and blame you. Some of the communication books talk about how if you change your communication style the spouse might notice and try the same things themselves. Maybe try that. Don't get dragged into any yelling matches or anything. Practice some of those positive and neutral communication skills from those books. You actually have to be a better communicator when they're a worse one. Yet if they are in an anger and blaming phase, that has to cool down before they even notice it, much less think to try it themselves. If that makes sense.
